SEMARANG REALIZATIONS: SELF- RESPECT

I stumble. I make mistakes. I overthink and sometimes lose my way, but I am learning. What matters now is that I am willing to work on myself. Semarang was not just a place I visited; it was a mirror that showed me who I was, who I am, and who I could become.

I began to rethink many of the things I used to accept without question. For the first time in a long time, I started choosing me. I began to understand the value of self-love and confidence. Not the loud kind that needs to be noticed, but the quiet kind that says, "I am enough, even while I am still growing."

For a long time, I refused to admit that I did not belong. I realized that I don't really need to belong in spaces that drain me. that ask me to be less just to be tolerated. Am I too talkative? Overacting? Too sensitive? Too much? Maybe I am, but it is not enough to justify that other people would wish for my misfortune. I used to chase their approval, and overextend but they could never be pleased.

But now, I’m done with that version of me. I AM DONE being a people pleaser. I am learning to set boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable. I am no longer afraid of losing friends. I held on tightly to people who I thought had my back but many of them did not. I am selling myself short by chasing for their approval and the friendship is not even worth salvaging. At this point, I could finally discern who gives me the biggest smiles but twisted the truth behind me.

At first, I felt fear, and disappointment. But right now, I just feel pity. I pity those who need to tear others down to feel relevant, and confident. Every time that these people would see something is doing better, murmurs of side comments would go by. They masked their own insecurities by making others feel small.

Since traveling abroad is considered a "big deal" in the Philippines, this change of mine might be mistaken for arrogance. I will not be shaken by this after all that I have been through. Besides, this version of me is expensive, I am not losing myself again.

"Milyon ang tao sa kalibutan, nganong dira man jud ta anang mga tao nga kuridason ta?"